The United Church Of Bacon Is A Belief System That Speaks To Our Deepest Food Desires

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There is a church of bacon. Really.

The United Church of Bacon was founded in Las Vegas back in 2010 by a self proclaimed atheist named John Whiteside. He started the religion with the intent to fight against the discrimination against other atheists and currently, the church has over 4,000 members. According to an official statement on their website, the organization can perform legal weddings:

“Officiants in the United Church of Bacon can perform legal weddings for those who don’t want God in their ceremony.

“We’ll bring creative suggestions to make your wedding even more magical. Or if you already have a plan, we will follow your lead.”

And if you’re a member of the church, not only can you take on titles like “Funkmaster General,” or “Bacon Prophet,” but they’ll perform your wedding for you for free. How’s that for a deal!

While the concept seems silly, a statement on the website states the motivation behind the religion is to promote the separation of church and state:

The skeptics’ church has a serious intent, to fight religious discrimination against non-believers, to promote church-state separation, and to demand equal rights for everyone, regardless of faith.

It’s worth noting the United Church of Bacon praises bacon of all types, giving full inclusion to turkey and vegetarian varietals. Obviously, a bunch of religious leaders in the city aren’t happy with the organization and how they’ve been advertising but, the Church of Bacon can technically be considered a mega church and in this country, mega churches DO WHAT THEY WANT!

If you’re still confused as to what the United Church of Bacon stands for, here are the 9 Bacon Commandments as listed on their website:

  1. Be skeptical
  2. Respect boundaries
  3. Normalize atheists
  4. Normalize religion
  5. Have fun
  6. Be good
  7. Be generous
  8. Praise bacon
  9. Pay taxes

Seems pretty cut and dry. John Whiteside, aka the “Bacon Prophet,” summed it up with this statement:

We enjoy people mocking us. We mock ourselves. This isn’t supposed to offend anyone.

Free weddings are great, but free bacon at the wedding? That’d be glorious.

(Source: The United Church of Bacon)