Universal Reveals Its Sausage Party ‘Warcraft’ Cast

FYI Universal — “WoW” doesn’t stand for World of White Guys. 

So, Warcraft lurched ever closer to becoming an actual, real movie yesterday when Universal revealed most of the movie’s cast, and hoo boy, don’t get your hopes up lots of sexy blood elves or sassy lady dwarves. Nope, Universal is planning to throw a good ol’ fashioned Azeroth sausage party.

Warcraft will star Ben Foster (the odd redheaded guy you’d probably recognize from tons of stuff like Six Feet Under and 3:10 To Yuma), Travis Fimmel (a dude from Vikings), Toby Kebbell (the “weird” or “nerdy” guy from lots of hunk-fests like Wrath of the Titans), Rob Kazinsky (the guy who confusingly looked just like Charlie Hunnam in Pacific Rim), Dominic Cooper (Tony Stark’s dad in Captain America) and yes, exactly one woman — Paula Patton (also the one lady in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol).

Colin Farrell, Paul Dano, Anton Yelchin and Anson Mount are also rumored to be in the movie, but none of them have confirmed, because honestly this party is starting to look pretty lame.

Then again, one Paula Patton makes up for a lot.

Just food for thought Universal — World of Warcraft is the most popular video game amongst women aged 25 – 54, and by various accounts around 30 – 40% of the player base is female. In other news, around a third of WoW players desperately want to hump each other. So yeah, if you really want this movie to be true to the Warcraft universe, I’d invite some more girls to the party and start writing some elvish orgy scenes.

via /Film

Ben, Travis, Toby, Rob, Dominic and Paula via Shutterstock