A Polish Playground Banned Winnie The Pooh Because Of His ‘Dubious Sexuality’

Before we get into this story about Winnie the Pooh getting banned in Poland, we need to look at cartoon characters who wear shirts but no pants. Here is an unofficial ranking:

5) Porky Pig
4) Winnie the Pooh
3) Alvin And The Chipmunks
2) Squidward
1) Donald Duck

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about Pooh. A Polish playground wants to ban his likeness because of his “dubious sexuality,” labeling him a hermaphrodite. REMINDER: Winnie the Pooh is a cartoon about a lovable bear.

“The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe,” said Ryszard Cichy during the discussion.

“It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children. [Poland’s fictional bear] is dressed from head to toe, unlike Pooh who is only dressed from the waist up.”

One unnamed councillor can be heard discussing Pooh’s sexuality, arguing that “it doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex” before another, Hanna Jachimska starts criticising Winnie the Pooh author AA Milne.

As a result of this Winnie the Pooh blasphemy, the council is looking for another character to be the face of the children’s playground. Preferably one who wears a shirt and pants.

Pooh on you.