If there’s one terrible thing that Jerry Maguire is responsible for — besides the lines, “show me the money,” “you complete me,” and the execrable “you had me at hello” — it’s the lie that firings and break-ups are best done in public because the hurt party won’t make a scene. It wasn’t true when the movie first came out (I forgot the fact that it also introduced us to Jonathan Lipnicki, so that’s also a reason that film sucks) and it certainly isn’t now that cell phones are everywhere and people have made it clear that they’ll absolutely stoop to recording the ostensibly private conversations of others for a slice of internet fame posterity.
And yet people keep doing it! So what choice do we have but to continue reveling in the private details of the relationships that they share over bistro salads and watered-down Bloody Marys? None. We have no choice. So settle back, stop feeling guilty, and meet your latest 15-minute internet obsession: a woman who live-tweeted the breakup of a woman and her cheating boyfriend who were seated less than two feet away (pro-tip: if you’re breaking up in public, maybe get a booth.)
Here’s some background and then we’ll get right into the tweetstorm: According to Indy 100, the woman who live-tweeted this event, Ashe Dryden, was just looking to have a nice leisurely lunch alone (maybe read a book, play some Candy Crush) when the woman at the next table decided to bust out the big guns and accuse her boyfriend of being in a long-term relationship with another woman. Let’s join the drama, already in progress: