Kevin Johnson Bloodied A Protestor With Punches After He Got Hit In The Face With A Pie

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Kevin Johnson, an accused sexual predator many times over and the soon-to-be-former mayor of Sacramento, was hit in the face with a pie at a benefit dinner Wednesday night. Sean Thompson, the 32-year-old pie thrower, was arrested after Johnson wailed on him “5-to-10 times” and left him bloodied, according to the East Bay Express.

Neither the Sacramento Bee nor the East Bay Express have clear details on Thompson’s motivations or the type of pie used in this brazen attack. Thompson may have tossed the pie to draw attention to Johnson’s possible sexual misconducts, but this was a farm-to-table event, so maybe he was annoyed about a made-up term that essentially means nothing that causes a hike in the cost of eating.

There’s no police report as of now.

While some of the details are unclear, many are not, thanks to a spokesperson for Johnson giving some of the most blatantly-spun quotes you’ll ever see. Let’s examine them.

“Let me be clear, the mayor was assaulted tonight,” said spokeswoman Crystal Strait. “He is home with his family…The whole thing is just shocking.”

He was hit with a pie, not a baseball bat. Can’t you just picture KJ sitting around with his family in a group hug, rocking back and forth while he weeps because someone smacked him in the face with a baked good?

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