Revving Up For The Draft: Pairing Incoming NBA Players And Cars

06.21.11 6 years ago 6 Comments
LeBron James

LeBron James (photo. Unique Autosports)

I’ve watched a few episodes of Top Gear, here and there. I can’t say I know cars all too well, but I do appreciate a motor vehicle for its character, whether it be an SUV, sports car or minivan. And like NBA players’ style of play or skill sets, a car can say a lot about their owners.

Are they rugged, speedy, stylish? Are they reliable or will they leave you hanging in the most critical of moments? For example, I’d say Shaquille O’Neal‘s game fits with his semi-truck, pickup hybrid pretty well. So with the NBA Draft upcoming, which players’ games resemble what types automobiles?

Kyrie Irving – Porsche 911 Carrera

Sleek and agile, the Porsche 911 Carrera can handle like no other. It’s a perfect vehicle on paper, and if it’s available to you, it’s a hard option to pass up. But are there better choices out there, and could a more practical option turn out to be a better investment in the long run? Maybe you’d really have more fun or get more use out of something less sporty and more versatile. That’s Irving in a nutshell. He could be the next Chris Paul, and the test drives has checked out nicely, but as the likely first pick, the Cleveland Cavaliers have to make sure there’s not someone else who could turn out to be a Ferrari.

Derrick Williams – Porsche Cayenne Turbo

Because we don’t have a firm grasp on who’ll go No. 1 overall in the draft, of course I had to choose two Porsches for both Irving and Williams. While we know what we’d get out of a Porsche 911, the Cayenne is also quite tempting because of its versatility. Sure, we don’t know whether it’s more of a sports car or an SUV, but that’s what’s so intriguing about it. Is Williams small forward or a power forward? Is he a tweener? Whatever it is, he’s someone with a lot of potential.

Kemba Walker – MINI Cooper

I know, I know, this is sort of a gimme. But it’s not only about being the undersized guy that makes Walker a MINI. Both have an attitude and swagger about them as well. Just because he’s small doesn’t mean that being aggressive isn’t what defines Walker as he’s the ultimate competitor that could be a steal in the middle of the lottery. Maybe he’s questionable because we don’t know if he’s a true point guard, but we do know that he’s no Ford Pinto.

Bismack Biyombo – Humvee

I’m not talking about the civilian H2 Hummers. I mean the military ones, bullet-proof armor and all. Biyombo, like a Humvee, is the definition of rugged – the guy measured in with 4.2 percent body fat at the combine. Solid as a rock. Maybe it’s not great for the highway, but off-road, you can’t beat it. Maybe Biyombo doesn’t have a refined skill-set, but he’ll sure knock guys around and clean up on the boards.

Klay Thompson – Dodge Viper

The Viper is simple, and that’s not a problem. All it has is straight-up, straightaway speed. It doesn’t need to have great handling or a really sweet, pop-out cupholder. Buyers know what they’re getting. It’s just like Thompson’s jump shot. He’s going to be taken for his shooting ability, nothing else, and whoever gets him will be fine with that. A one-trick pony works well so long as it’s damn good at that one trick.

Kyle Singler – Toyota Camry

This is a compliment, I swear. There’s a reason that the Camry is always one of the top-selling full-size sedans in the U.S. and that’s because it’s solid and reliable. And reliability is the key to Singler’s game. Four years under Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski will do that for you. He’s no Bentley, but whichever team takes Singler gets a guy who will, if anything, get the job done for years to come.

Tyler Honeycutt – Honda Element

On paper, the Honda Element doesn’t look so good. It’s boxy, not very attractive and its specs don’t really excite. But own one, overlook the aesthetic shortcomings, and you’ll probably realize that the Element is pretty useful. Whether you’re going camping, taking the kids to soccer practice or on a road trip, it’s going to do anything you need. That’s similar to Honeycutt, who doesn’t have the statistics to back up how valuable he can be. And while he’s wiry thin, he’ll surprise you in being mighty effective by doing the little things.

What are some other pairings of incoming NBA players and cars that might make sense?

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