The bad news is this: many people out there in longterm relationships (perhaps even you?) are unsatisfied with their sex lives. The good news, of course, is that other people are out there, tirelessly researching exactly why some people are unsatisfied with their sex lives. There’s also a third category of folks who are so gratified that they could be starring in their very own ’90s-era Herbal Essences commercials.
So what’s the difference between satisfied and dissatisfied couples? Is it butt stuff? (Yes, yes it is.)
A recent study looked at what keeps passion alive — using NBC’s 2006 sex and relationships survey of 38,000 people as its data set. The findings showed that anal stimulation was a major key, along with experimentation, and saying “I love you” during sex. You could also add massages and lingerie, but, as the study’s lead author points out, it’s not the doing that’s important: it’s the willingness to be adventurous. And that happens through communication. Which means that the best way to become sexually satisfied is to start talking.
From The Mirror:
Around 60% of people who are dissatisfied with their sex lives, tend to agree with the statement, ‘I feel that my partner doesn’t know how to excite me.’
This hints that the key factor is talking about your sex life – and trying new things, according to lead researcher David Frederick of Chapman University.
Dr Frederick said, ‘For the dissatisfied couples, it’s something they can take a look at and say ‘Why don’t we try this and see what happens?’
So, why not? There, are of course, barriers to talking about one’s sex life (especially if you grew up not knowing exactly how to talk about the birds and the bees), but every time research like this comes up, we’re reminded that we’d all be a little happier if we worried less, trusted more, and communicated our feelings. (Especially if those feelings are about butt stuff.)