Ranking Thanksgiving Side Dishes In Order Of Importance

11.24.16 2 weeks ago 21 Comments

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In case you missed it, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Which means you should probably start working out your Holiday Eating Strategy ASAP.

If you don’t know what, exactly, I mean by a Holiday Eating Strategy, then you’re probably the person who dives right in to the roll basket and is full by the time the gravy boat actually makes its way around the table.

What I’m saying is, prioritize! All those side dishes on the table can be overwhelming. You don’t want to make any decisions you’ll regret 10 minutes down the line, when you’re stuffed to the gills but haven’t even touched Aunt Lucy’s Creamed Corn Pudding (you know the dish).

Here’s our highly scientific breakdown of what you should take, and what you should pass on.

SCALE:

Cultural Authenticity — 1=please move to Canada now, k thx bye; 5=as authentic as buckle hats [don’t question me on this]

Allergen-Free Potential — 1=get out the EpiPen; 5=only avoid if you’re allergic to life itself

Rarity — 1=riot potential if it’s not on the table; 5=as rare as a unicorn steak

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