Sometimes, when I’m having a particularly bad day, I think of Maureen Dowd. I don’t think of her Pulitzer, though, or the fascinating interviews she conducts. I don’t even think about the fact that, atop her many other accomplishments, she was named Glamour’s Woman of The Year in the late ‘90s. She didn’t need that distinction — her house is already groaning under the weight of the plaques and statuettes that validate her prowess — but she got it anyway.
No, the Maureen Dowd I think of is the one laying in a Colorado hotel room, stoned out of her mind on a marijuana-infused candy bar and trying to hold it together even though she’s certain that death (death!) is just a few moments away. That image never fails to make me feel a little bit better. And it’s one that has also helped me through at least three panic attacks I’ve had after accidentally eating too much of a $7 brownie, if you know what I mean.
It’s true: Marijuana edibles can get you too high. And there are many people — Maureen Dowd included — who have sworn them off because they’re too unpredictable and, often, too potent. But they’re also effective, non-smelly, and, with the marijuana industry blossoming into a beautiful purple bush, the dosing’s becoming more standardized. More importantly, the treats you can buy at your local dispensary are becoming not just edible but actually delicious.
So let’s take a tour of some of the most delightful weed-infused offerings you can partake in on 4/20 (and beyond). Just remember two things: Check the label for THC content and slow. the. hell. down. No, really: since the biggest problem with edibles is that one second you’re not feeling them and the next you’ve melted out of your skin and are halfway to Uranus (you’d find that joke hilarious if you were high RN) you’ve got to remember to pace yourself or risk Dowding out.