Are you a binge drinker in an existential crisis? Are you wondering just what’s the point of chugging light beer that’s been sitting out waiting for a communal ping pong ball that’s spent more time on the floor than your lightweight buddy after match #3? Perhaps you need a little more magical whimsy in your drinking games (silly muggle).
If so, your prayers have been answered. Some clever gentlemen have created the unofficial game of Quidditch Pong, involving three quidditch rings, a snitch (cup) that’s hard to hit (and has its own special rules if you make it), and a beater’s bat. For $37.99, you too can live your greatest dreams of a down-and-out muggle striving for the glory of a magical sports star zooming through the air on a flying broom.
Of course, we know what you’re thinking (and it’s not because of our legilimency skills): Yes, you can cast spells.
Each spell you cast (with your spellbook stemming from your chosen Hogwarts house) will force the opposing team to take a trick shot. If that wasn’t intricate enough for a game that involves consuming large amounts of alcohol quickly, teams will choose seekers, beaters and have a hefty rulebook to follow. For example:
CUPS AND SCORING
- Cups made are removed from play after all teammates have taken their shot.
- Normal shots cannot be interfered with by the defending team. However, shots made through a hoop may be blocked by a beater using his bat.
- Blocking a shot using anything other than the bat counts as a foul and the opponent is penalized by the offensive team choosing one cup to be pulled from play.
- If the beater blocks a shot that does not go through a hoop, a one cup penalty is applied.
- The amount of cups removed at the end of the turn are based on the shots made.
Something tells me the muggle quidditch teams would really enjoy this in their post-game celebrations. Sadly, they’ll have to wait, because Quidditch Pong is sold out.