The world did not end over the weekend, but Britney Spears emerged from whatever rock she’s been hiding under to team with Rihanna to perform perhaps the most unsexy “S&M” duet that was intended to be sexy, ever.
Moving sort of clunkily around the stage like an arthritic cat on a flight of stairs, Britney — who, like Rihanna, was pantless — thrust her vagina awkwardly in the air while pairs of hands appearing eager to touch it stuck out from the stage. One can only assume that the aforementioned eager hands were blissfully ignorant of what Britney’s vagina has been up to over the past decade.
And then, to top it off, Britney and Rihanna engaged in an exceedingly lame pillow fight and sealed their performance with a passionless kiss. Maybe we would have been better off with the world ending on Saturday night after all.