Hey guys, have you heard? Today’s Election Day! I bet you had NO IDEA.
Though, to be fair, it’s also Gustavus Adolphus Day in Sweden, so we’ll forgive you if you forgot. Also, if you haven’t already, you should head down to your local library or sewer tunnel to vote for Obama, Romney, or popular write-in candidate Richard Buttstink (with running mate, Vagina McFartberg — like a Jew could ever win!) while you still can. But before you do, get in the mood for some DEMOCRACY with a few songs that are either called or mention Election Day, and what they say about the Tuesday after the first Monday in November.
Wait…THAT’S TODAY. /runs from laptop in comical Looney Tunes, puff-of-smoke fashion
“Election Day” by the Replacements
I can’t stay
Wannabe, wannabe, wannabe, wannabe
I don’t care who gets elected
I don’t care who gets to find out
I don’t care who gets elected
Til I find me a one (to love)
What does it say about Election Day? Love > politics.
“It’s a Hit” by Rilo Kiley
Any chimp can play human for a day
Use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform
And run for office on election day
Fancy himself a real decision maker
And deploy more troops than salt shakers
What does it say about Election Day? Nothing, really, but it does say that despite Rilo Kiley being a great band, they shouldn’t have ever tried to make a political statement.
“Livin’ in the Future” by Bruce Springsteen
Woke up election day
Sky’s gunpowder and shades of grey
Beneath the dirty sun
I whistle my time away
What does it say about Election Day? The world’s falling to crap, but WHO CARES. Sarcastically twiddle yo’ thumbs instead.
“Banned in the U.S.A.” by 2 Live Crew
We’re gonna do all the things we wanna do
You can’t stand to see a brother get as rich as you
This is the 90s and we’re comin’ on strong
Sayin’ things and doin’ things that you’re saying’s wrong
Wisen up, ’cause on Election Day
We’ll see who’s banned in the U.S.A.!
What does it say about Election Day? Your vote matters, and can result in a banned album, specifically one from a late-1980s, early-1990s hip-hop troupe, being put back on store shelves.
“Election Day” by Paint It Black
Who needs D.C. when we’ve got D4?
What does it say about Election Day? The sweet sounds of Dillinger Four do more for the body and soul than anything those clowns in Washington, DC, with their clown cars, could come up with.
“All Things Considered” by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones
He also claims he trained
A kid named Cassius Clay
He cost Goldwater the election
On Election Day
If he was still with us today
Then he would introduce
Us to his closest friend
The one and only Lenny Bruce
What does it say about Election Day? It says more about people than it does Election Day, and that “more” is: everyone everywhere will lie to you.
“2000 & Beyond” by Big K.R.I.T.
Pass the collection plate
N*ggas thought sh*t was gonna change on Election Day
Healthcare H1N1 nasal spray
Got me scared to hit the block
Wear my flag as a mask, tote a Glock, in 2000 and beyond
What does it say about Election Day? The more things change, the more they stay the same.
“Election Day” by Arcadia
Maximum big surprise your smile is something new
I pull my shirt off and pray,
We’re sacred and bound to suffer the heatwave
Pull my shirt off and pray we’re coming up on re-election day
What does it say about Election Day? Nothing and EVERYTHING.