In what I’m convinced is yet another ploy to plunge another dagger into the heart of poor Ben Gibbard, Zooey Deschanel recently posted a pic of a letter she received from President Obama on her birthday to Twitter. The pic raises many questions, namely how the hell does Barack Obama know who Zooey Deschanel is and why is he writing her letter on her birthday? I wonder what Joseph Gordon-Levitt thinks about this? I bet she’s probably trying to make him jealous too! Maybe Obama’s hoping she’ll choose him to be her rebound bang buddy?
Also, what kind of name is Zooey Deschanel? Sounds mighty foreign to me. And by foreign I mean that it sounds like the name of a dag-gum stinking terrorist! Where was Zooey Deschanel born anyway? Has anyone seen her birth certificate? Further, has anyone ever seen Zooey Deschanel, Emily Blunt and Katy Perry together in the same room? OMG Zooey Deschanel is totally a terrorist AND a master of disguise, isn’t she?!?!