Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, "When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?"
Heath Shuler — he of terrible NFL quarterbacking for the Redskins and Saints — is trying to inject some additional life into his campaign for the U.S. House of Representatives by paying $10,000 for advertising space on Brad Keselowski's No. 23 Chevy in Friday night's NASCAR Busch Series race at Lowe's Motor Speedway. There are so many things wrong about that sentence that I'm getting a little dizzy thinking about it.
Heath doesn't understand that you need to actually have a SUCCESSFUL sporting career if you want to get elected to public office. Those Steve Largent and Jack Kemp and Lynn Swann types are memorably good; Heath Shuler is memorably bad. You don't see Akili Smith or Tony Mandarich running for office.
Also, I recommend Keselowski drive carefully. Anything with Shuler's name on it generally goes down in flames.