Everyone's favorite "child star-turned B-movie hottie-turned village bicycle to Major League pitchers" Alyssa Milano is now blogging over at MLB.com, and motherfuckers, IT'S REALLY HER.
Yes, I really write this blog. Yes, I am a huge baseball fan. Yes, I’ve read all of your comments that you’ve left for me (ouch). No, this isn’t for publicity. And no, my entries won’t come and go like the other high profile blogs you are referring to (of which I am not aware but shame on them).
I have no way of proving any of this to you except to keep going. You’ll just have to take my word for it. I will hopefully convert the doubters. It will be my mission.
Alyssa, I get that shit all the time, believe me. "No way Matt writes this. I heard Justin Timberlake ghost-writes for him." Like, sure, we look alike and date the same girls, but JT thinks "sexy back" is one word. He'd never make it through a day doing what I do.
Oh, right. Alyssa Milano. Anyway, it's actually kind of a sweet and heartfelt piece, and her ghostwriter does a bang-up job of making it sound like Alyssa. And I think it's great she still cheers for the Dodgers even though her ex Brad Penny went younger and hotter with Eliza Dushku. But then, Alyssa's also been linked to Carl Pavano and Barry Zito (and even Josh Beckett and Tom Glavine), so she probably can't even pick him out of a lineup at this point. "Hello?… Who's this?…. Brad who?… Which Brad Penny?… Maybe — did we have sex?"
Not that I've ever had that conversation, of course.