WHITE GEEK RAP: THE NBA SEASON REVIEW
TONY PARKER CHOSE THIS FATE

GROUPIES AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE

By 05.09.07

Twins catcher Joe Mauer, obviously tired of all the effort it takes to select a groupie from the hotel lobby (and apparently split from 2005 Miss USA Chelsea Cooley), has turned over woman-finding duties to Extra TV.  (Yes, that Extra.)  Seriously, all you ladies have to do is fill out this form.  And Extra is really selling it, too:

[B]ehind all that fame and fortune is the humble heart of a regular Joe… Joe’s not the flashy type, but get this, ladies: he owns four houses, loves to shop for shoes, and wants to be married! “Well, I think I’ll be a great husband…I’m pretty easygoing, I’m a big family guy. Family comes first for me.”

“I like all kinds of women: blondes, brunettes, it doesn’t really matter to me,” he said… “If she doesn’t like baseball, I can probably get around that – but it would be better if she did!”

Joe and I are pretty similar.  We both like all kinds of women, and we're similarly flexible about what a gal is interested in.  I think it was just last week I was telling a friend, that if a girl doesn’t like being drugged with ether and chained up in the basement, I can probably get around that – but it would be better if she did!  Because birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, bloggers gotta take their women in the night as they sleep.

(Story from sassy Bat-Girl via professionally hip RandBall)


TOPICS#MLB
TAGSJOE MAUERthe rock

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