WHITE GEEK RAP: THE NBA SEASON REVIEW
TONY PARKER CHOSE THIS FATE

GROUPIES AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE

By / 05.09.07

Twins catcher Joe Mauer, obviously tired of all the effort it takes to select a groupie from the hotel lobby (and apparently split from 2005 Miss USA Chelsea Cooley), has turned over woman-finding duties to Extra TV.  (Yes, that Extra.)  Seriously, all you ladies have to do is fill out this form.  And Extra is really selling it, too:

[B]ehind all that fame and fortune is the humble heart of a regular Joe… Joe’s not the flashy type, but get this, ladies: he owns four houses, loves to shop for shoes, and wants to be married! “Well, I think I’ll be a great husband…I’m pretty easygoing, I’m a big family guy. Family comes first for me.”

“I like all kinds of women: blondes, brunettes, it doesn’t really matter to me,” he said… “If she doesn’t like baseball, I can probably get around that – but it would be better if she did!”

Joe and I are pretty similar.  We both like all kinds of women, and we're similarly flexible about what a gal is interested in.  I think it was just last week I was telling a friend, that if a girl doesn’t like being drugged with ether and chained up in the basement, I can probably get around that – but it would be better if she did!  Because birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, bloggers gotta take their women in the night as they sleep.

(Story from sassy Bat-Girl via professionally hip RandBall)


TOPICS#MLB
TAGSJOE MAUERthe rock

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