Warwick Capper is a retired Aussie Rules player who was one of the best players in the Australian Football League in the 1980s. Now 44, the deadbeat dad who has had turns as a stripper, meter maid, and school crossing guard has made a sex tape with his 26-year-old girlfriend… that he sold for six figures.
"I've had a lot of practice being a sex symbol so if you've got it, flaunt it," Capper said. "It's every man's fantasy. I think I'm Australia's answer to Paris Hilton. Someone also said I am like David Beckham. I'm a good-looking footballer with the same quick wit."
I'll say! He's just like Fabio, if Fabio were fat. Rawr! He's the pinnacle of sexy! Wait… did I say pinnacle? I meant pinochle. He's the shitty card game for old people of sexy. Yeah, that's the right metaphor.