A 59-year-old man named Mike Flynt has made the football team at D-III Sul Ross State, which sounds suspiciously like a name they made up for the film adaptation of this story. Apparently, Flynt was sitting around with his other old-ass friends reminiscing about the days when they had bladder control, and he regretted that he had been kicked off his college team just before his senior year. So he made sure he was still eligible, then tried out at his alma mater.
Flynt returned to Sul Ross State this month, 37 years after he left and six years before he goes on Medicare. His comeback peaked Wednesday with the coach saying he's made the Division III team's roster. He could be in action as soon as Sept. 1. Flynt is giving new meaning to being a college senior. After all, he's a grandfather and a card-carrying member of AARP. He's eight years older than his coach and has two kids older than any of his teammates.
I'd point and laugh at Flynt for being old, but he was on Odessa-Permian's (the high school from Friday Night Lights) first state championship team in 1965, and I'm smart enough to be afraid of people from west Texas. They're tough enough to live on the surface of the sun and dumb enough to live on Earth's closest equivalent. Making fun of them is a recipe for losing your teeth.