Welcome to a very special afternoon edition of the Monday Morning Suck-Off. Contrary to popular opinion, the Seahawks' loss to the Saints has nothing to do with the lateness of the Suck-Off, although Mike Holmgren and Joe Gibbs (whose Redskins pissed away several opportunities to win) deserve special mentions as the suckiest coaches who still have jobs because they won a Super Bowl a long time ago.
Who else sucks? The Bengals fell to 1-4 against the Chiefs, the Dolphins remained winless, the Cardinals got beaten by Vinny Testaverde, and the Bears (photo, above) showed the proper respect to PURPLE JESUS, kneeling in His presence whenever he ran by. PURPLE JESUS finished with 224 yards and three touchdowns on 20 carries while adding a 55-yard kickoff return that set up the game-wining field goal. Amen.
But the most suck-tastic team in the NFL? The injury-depleted Rams, who lost 22-3 in Baltimore behind Gus Frerotte's six turnovers (five INT's and a lost fumble). I don't care what the t-shirts say, Frerotte is not fr'real. The way he got handled by the Baltimore D, he should consider a name change to Gus Frottage.
NOTE: This whore can die in a fire.