RODRIGUEZ' PENIS A POOR CASTING DIRECTOR
RAMBO HAS A POSTER

UPDATE ON ‘ATHLETIC MASSAGE’ FONDLER

By / 10.18.07

You may remember Tom Porras, the former Arena League quarterback and high school track coach.  He's the guy who invited one of his underage athletes into his home to give her an "athletic massage," then fondled her, ejaculated on her, and told her his semen was massage oil.  Yeah, him.  Great guy.  Hard to forget.  Well, his court battle is underway, and it looks like things could get ugly:

The [victim's mother] came to court expecting to hear that Tom Porras, the fired teacher and part-time coach, had planned to enter a plea agreement, requiring him in part to register as a sex offender and spend 20 years on probation. He would also pay fines and restitution to the victim of up to $10,000.

Instead, Porras' defense attorneys told [the judge] their client "had changed his mind" and asked to set a Nov. 15 hearing to suppress evidence. The lawyers didn't specify what evidence they wanted thrown out, but it could include his confession to Scottsdale police after arrest.

I'm not a defense attorney, but I'd have to think that yeah, your client confessing to the crime would be a good thing to suppress.  Gee, I sure hope that Porras's lawyers can prove his innocence.  Wait, did I say "can prove his innocence"?  I meant "get eaten by bears."  Sorry, I get those two confused all the time.


TAGSHIGH SCHOOL SPORTSIT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S OLDPEOPLE WITH MUSTACHES SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED

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