HEATH LEDGER IS POORLY HUNG
"Now Let Me Welcome Everybody..."

I HOPE IT’S CANCER

By 12.18.07

I know that I speak ill of college hoops too often, and that's not fair to the student-athletes who dedicate so much time to practice, games, travel, and looking over the papers that their tutors write for them.  Deep down, I know that my lack of love for NCAA basketball is my own failure as a fan: I have no real loyalty to any college, very few geographical roots, and for much of the season I'm preoccupied with the NFL.

Oh, and one more thing: I fucking hate Dick Vitale.  I loathe the man.  People who defend him because they like his enthusiasm are the same kind of people who admire the Nazis' efficiency.  Thankfully, the shouting is on hiatus.  Dickie V writes:

After an examination, it was determined that I had lesions on my left vocal cord and that they should be surgically removed. Dr. Zeitels said his goal is to have me back sitting at courtside in early February.

Take your time, Dick.  I'd hate for you to miss March Madness because you rushed back too soon.  I simply can't imagine early spring without you yelling at me.  It's like having an old, bald Richard Simmons as my sideline announcer.

(Thanks to hunky basso profundo Reed) 


TAGSANNOUNCERSdick vitaleESPNNCAA HOOPS

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