What better way to recover from your Monday football hangover than with a nice Suck-Off? I've always been told that's one of my specialties, so let's go through the worst of Week 13 in the NFL.
Obviously, the Lions deserve a mention. They've now lost 4 in a row since starting 6-2 and have ceded a shot at the NFC North title by sinking into the mire of .500 teams hoping for a Wild Card berth. However, I can't fault them too much, as the return of Purple Jesus is a good excuse to bow down and not make tackles, particularly if you're on the receiving end of Ye Holy Knee-Crumpling Juke like Kenoy Kennedy.
First runner-up in the Suck-Off goes to Sean Payton for calling a reverse at midfield with fewer than 4 minutes to play and a three-point lead. Reggie Bush — public enemy #1 on my fantasy team — fucked up the exchange to Devery Henderson, and the Bucs scored a game-winning touchdown… led by a McCown brother. That's a special level of sucking.
But the winner of the Suck-Off, by unanimous decision, is Joe Gibbs. By calling a second consecutive timeout to "ice" Bills kicker Rian Lindell, Gibbs incurred a 15-yard penalty, moving up Lindell's final attempt from 51 yards to 36. Bills win 17-16. The call spoiled a 'Skins defensive effort that didn't yield a touchdown, and the nature of the loss rubbed industrial rock salt into the emotional wound of Sean Taylor's death. Gibbs is giving the words "Hall of Fame bust" a whole new meaning.