I'm one of those really busy, important intellectuals like you see on hour-long TV dramas, so of course I don't have the time or the inclination to watch trite mind-numbing horseshit like American Idol. But thanks to OK! Magazine — something I would of course never deign to read outside of professional necessity — I learned that the most popular waste of time on television likes to occasionally use its unrelenting, elephantine idiocy for charity. And hey, look who's involved!
Where can you see U2's Bono, Brad Pitt, Reese Witherspoon, Eli Manning and other big name stars all in the same place? On the special episode of American Idol, called Idol Gives Back! The fundraiser returns for a second year [...a bunch of pointless crap]
Okay, so I know Eli Manning won the Super Bowl and all, but my mind is still reeling from him sharing top billing in that article with a Time Person of the Year rock star who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, the handsomest actor on the planet who's married to an international sex symbol, and the highest-paid actress in Hollywood. Eli Manning, dude.
Children, reach for the stars. Anything really is possible.