THIS GUY'S FUNNY – Here's a video of Carlos Zambrano hitting people with 95+ mph fastballs. My favorite part is when the people get hit with the fastballs. Part of a series of spoofs, catch the rest here.
DAVID BECKHAM HAS A GOLDEN IPOD — "The gold 32 gigabyte ipod ran the team £600 ($1188) and is sure to be filled with Spice Girls hits." So I guess Spice Girls hits take up 16 gigs of disk space?
THEIR CULTURE IS SIMPLE AND INFERIOR — Masai warriors running the London marathon have been instructed in a four-page pamphlet to wear pants and not urinate in public during their time in the British Isles. Way to kill the buzz, pamphlet.
EIGHT-MINUTE STANDS-CLEARING BRAWL — Courtesy of organized thugs disguised as fans at a Brazilian futsal match. Complete with tear gas, batons, uprooted arena seats, and tables as makeshift shields. Fun for the whole family!