IT'S OKAY, T4 WAS ALREADY DEAD TO ME
THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF SPEED RACER

RANDY MOSS ENJOYED KENTUCKY

By 05.05.08

TMZ has what they're calling exclusive photos of Randy Moss at a Kentucky Derby party grinding with Miss Kentucky USA, but guess what, I saved the image, removed the photo credit and "EXCLUSIVE" tag, and it's not really exclusive any more, is it?  I also made the photo larger and used my rudimentary photo editing skills to remove some of the glaring redeye, a relatively simple task that that you'd think someone at an Internet giant like AOL could perform.

Anyway, if this really is Miss Kentucky USA as TMZ claims, her name is Alysha Harris and she loves female orgasms — apparently she outgrew her love of unicorns and leprechauns.  I can only hope that she's half as awesome as Tara Conner, the Miss USA from Kentucky who lost her crown when she did awesome things like cocaine, drink underage, and make out with Miss Teen USA. 

In a related story, I masturbated to a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog.  Let me tell you, those girls are way freakier than the Victoria's Secret chicks is what I told myself at the time.


TOPICS#NFL
TAGSGOLDEN STATE WARRIORSWAGS

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