Remember Papa John's's (so many possessives!) thing with the 23-cent pizza to apologize to LeBron and Cavalier fans? Yeah, that went down yesterday. How'd it go? Well, the good news is that there weren't quite reports of rioting. The bad news is that, dude, it's just fucking 23-cent pizza. Highlights from WKYC's day of breathless reporting:
12:15 p.m. WKYC.com's Kim Wendel reports that an estimate 1,700 people are in line at the Shaker Heights store. People are parking from as far away as 3 blocks because there is not parking at the restaurant.
1:55 p.m. Police have thrown three "line-jumpers" out from the location in Shaker Heights. People are starting to lose their patience, some walking away without pizza.
2:55 p.m. Channel 3's Eric Mansfield reports that Akron police have been called out to the East Market Street location for unruliness with people pushing and shoving each other.
3:20 p.m. The manager at the Euclid location tells Channel 3's Mike O'Mara that because of the overwhelming demand, it is likely the store will run out of pizzas by 8 p.m. Once the pizza is gone, the promotion ends at the store. There will be no rainchecks given to those remaining in line.
3:36 p.m. A caller from Cuyahoga Falls told Channel 3's Eric Mansfield that they are worried about all the traffic created by the promotion. The caller says "it's insane" out there. The traffic is backed up on State Road across the bridge.
3:45 p.m. WKYC.com's Kim Wendel on site in Shaker Heights just checked with that store's manager who says there are plenty of ingredients on hand that should get that store through to the 11 p.m. promotion deadline. However, the wait in that location is 3 hours. So you'd need to be in line by 8 p.m.
5:20 p.m. Crowds have not diminished. But the businesses in the same area of Papa John's are upset and have posted angry signs in their store windows. Their customers have been unable to get inside because of the enormous line extending from the Papa John's.
6:00 p.m. Police are putting up barricades in the parking lot in front of the Shaker Heights store
9:02 p.m. Papa Johns in Euclid will be serving until 10 p.m. Those that are left standing at 10 will not get a pizza but will receive a raincheck.
You've made our nation proud, Ohio. May you be the deciding state in all national elections.