MONDAY SUCK-OFF: IT WAS A FUMBLE
EBERT VIOLATES 'NO TOUCH' RULE, PAYS PRICE

CARLOS ZAMBRANO THREW A NO-HITTER

By / 09.15.08

Poor Astros.  Hurricane Ike came and took away their homes, messed up their stadium, and forced their “home” game against the Cubs to be moved to Milwaukee’s Miller Park.  In their weakened state, they were no match for a newly healthy Carlos Zambrano, who pitched the Northsiders’ first no-hitter in 36 years, leading the Cubs to a 5-0 victory.

Big Z struck out ten while walking one and hitting a batter en route to the first neutral site no-hitter in major league history, as well as the first no-hitter in Miller Park.  It was also the first ever recorded… Zambrano-no.  Whatever, it’s Monday.  You’ll take your puns and like them.

Other MLB scores: The Phillies swept a doubleheader against the Brewers, moving them to within one game of the NL East lead, thanks to ANOTHER blown save from the Mets’ bullpen… Watch out, Tampa!  The Red Sox are now within one game of the AL East.  Jon Lester out-pitched Roy Halladay in Toronto to give the Sox a 4-3 victory, while the Rays fell to the Yanks 8-4 in the Bronx.  Derek Jeter collected three hits for the third consecutive game to negate the effects of sucking for the last five months.


TAGSCARLOS ZAMBRANOCHICAGO CUBSHOUSTON ASTROSMLB

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