Yesterday we learned that after new Lions running back Rudi Johnson stole Tatum Bell’s job, Bell stole Johnson’s luggage. At the time it was still second-hand information, but now we’re getting details like the luggage was “two Gucci bags that [Johnson] had received as a Pro Bowl gift.” Even better are the comments from Johnson and Bell:
“I got the bags back — empty,” [Johnson] said. “So he’s got a bunch of my underclothes. What he’s going to do with that, I don’t know. He’s got some socks and boxers.” Johnson said he was also still missing about $200 in cash along with his ID and credit cards, but said that he did not plan to involve the authorities. [...]
Bell [said] that defensive end Victor DeGrate… had asked Bell to pick up his bags for him. Bell said he picked up the bags, not realizing they weren’t DeGrate’s. “I wasn’t thinking or nothing,” Bell told the newspaper. “I just grabbed the backpack and grabbed the other bag. They weren’t in nobody’s locker or nothing like that.”
I’m no lawyer, but I’ve watched a lot of Ally McBeal, so I figure the guy with the bad grammar is guilty. Seriously, I didn’t think that many double negatives in a row were possible. The only way he could be harder to understand is if he said, “They weren’t in nobody’s locker or nothing like that… or were they?“
I want more like this!
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