Lakers guard Jordan Farmar is writing a blog for Playboy while rehabbing his bum knee, and in his latest entry he talks about his alma mater (UCLA) and the potentially deadly dangers of being a sports star there. Yes, deadly. A man can drown in poon, you know.
[F]emale fans’ attention is part of the life on campus, and it’s all good. You’re young, you’re doing what you love and you get attention from girls and everyone else, ’cause they all know who you are. So it’s nice when girls give you that attention. But sometimes, the girls and fans can get a little pushy. [...]
Groupies are always part of campus life and it’s something you have to watch out for. Girls used to come to our dorm room all the time, knocking on our door, leaving off notes and propositions. [...]
And you get some invasion of privacy, like I said, they’re knocking on your door, all the time. There’s no secret where you’re staying when you’re living on campus. Most freshman [sic] and sometimes sophomores stay on campus, so they’re the ones getting hit on. [...] Until [you move off-campus], there’s notes and cards under the door, gifts, Valentine’s Day-grams, all kinds of stuff. Girls in the stands are wearing your jersey with writing asking you to marry them. Anything you can think of, it happens.
You mean there’s no shortage of hot, horny 18- and 19-year-olds who ache for you and know where to find you? That sounds awful. Just… awful. Whoa, hey, I just popped some capillaries in my eyes. Who knew you could do that from clenching your teeth?