Greg Robertson, an Australian diver spear-fishing off the continent’s southern coast, landed an unexpectedly large catch — himself! (How did I do? I’m practicing writing ledes for UK tabloids.) No, but seriously, he shot a two-meter spear directly into his groin.
[T]he 25 year old was pushed onto the speargun, which had been washed out of his hands by a wave. The two metre long spear pierced his inside upper thigh, just millimetres from his genitals and femoral artery, and lodged several centimetres under the skin…
“The spear’s barbed on the end, so it’s locked in there. He got up and said ‘It’s in me, it’s in me!” [a witness said.]
That’s what she said! Hey, I got a two-meter spear gun for your groin right here! At least, uh, I think I do. I’m not so good at metric conversion. Inches and meters are about the same, right?