So we move on to the Vancouver Canadians, who have a … uh, they have a bear. They have a bear named “Bob Brown Bear,” because this team was named by a five-year old girl in kindergarten who had to come up with a f**king story about bears on the fly. I like that he isn’t just “Bob Bear,” but Bob Brown Bear, like the owner of the Vancouver Canadians was like “our mascot is a bear, what should his name be,” and his wife goes, “how about Bob Bear,” and he’s like “yeah but then how are they gonna know what color he is.”
Also, the name “Canadians” is shaking me. As a hockey fan, I’m conditioned to spell it “Canadiens” without even considering whether the team plays in Normal Canada or weird French Canadian Canada. But this brings up further questions, like whether or not there’s a team somewhere in British Columbia named the “Maple Leaves,” and everything I’ve come to learn about the Canadian grasp of language has been a lie.
Also (also), how awful is that logo? Like the owner of the Vancouver Canadians was like “here’s our logo, it’s a C,” and his wife is all, “for what,” and he explains “because Canada starts with C.” And then she suggests that he spruce it up a little bit, and he’s like “how about I put a bunch of bears in the logo,” and she suggests a baseball, and he’ll do that as long as he can hang an apostrophe S on the side.
I want more like this!
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