Sure, the following video has over a million views already, but does it count if 900,000 of those views are Dutch? This is Baerke van der Meij, an 18-month word scramble who just so happens to be outstanding at soccer. If a cat had done this the video would have forty million views already.
Well, Dutch top flight club VVV-Venlo watched the clip and signed the undeveloped human baby to a 10-year professional contract.
Of course, they made it clear that it’s a “symbolic” contract, like the one the Undertaker used to try to crucify Stone Cold Steve Austin in the style of Christ. This is probably the worst thing the club has done since they added like forty Vs to their name.
From the Telegraph:
The toddler joined VVV’s star midfielder Ken Leemans during a training session in De Koel Stadium on Tuesday before being offered the “symbolic” contract.
“The toddler’s favourite position has not yet been determined. However, we can speak of a right-footed player with a very good kicking technique, perseverance and, importantly: football genes via his grandfather,” said a VVV Venlo press release.
Uh, I don’t think I’m allowed to type “the toddler’s favorite position” on the Internet.