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U.S. Open Terrorized by Lemonade-Wielding Children

By / 06.17.11

“The message to kids is that there’s no American dream!”

That’s the punchline to this amazingly American news report filmed outside of the U.S. Open in my old hometown of Bethesda, Maryland, depicting the government shutting down a kid-run lemonade stand and fining their parents $500 for operating an Our Gang cliche without a license. Meanwhile, people who live nearby are charging $60 dollars a pop for front yard parking and it’s okay, because hey, they paid their tithes.

Watch the video below.

The worst part is the back and forth between officials and parents. The inspector says there’s a difference between “cute little kids making five or ten dollars” and hundreds, noting that they’ve got “coolers and coolers” of lemonade. But whoops! Turns out it was to raise money for cancer. The guys making thousands (or tens of thousands, if you believe the report) letting people park on their begonias? They’re doing it to raise money for rich assholes who live near a golf course.

I’m not sure if this experience has disproven the “American Dream” to a ragtag bunch of neighborhood youths (and hopefully “the American Dream” hasn’t become “sell drinks to tourists”), but hopefully the next time they set up shop it’ll be far away from melodramatic adults.

[via Jay Busbee @ Devil Ball Golf]


TAGSCHARITYDAMN GOVERNMENTGOLFU.S. OPENWONT SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN

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