6) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-5) – Speaking of no receivers and a terrible situation for a rookie QB to step right into.
7) Arizona Cardinals (1-4) – The Cardinals probably just hit their must-win wall if they really want to win their division. And they won’t win and they certainly won’t catch the San Francisco 49ers, so they’re realistically making a more exciting race out of the teams that could end up with the first pick and make Miami pay dearly.
8) Carolina Panthers (1-5) – If Ron Rivera and the Panthers knew that they were going to run a completely new offense based on Cam Newton’s skill set, why the hell did they give DeAngelo Williams so much money? Was it a fallback plan or did they really not want John Fox to bring him to Denver? Either way, Williams must be ecstatic.
9) Kansas City Chiefs (2-3) – One of the MNF pundit geniuses (Jon Gruden or Ron Jaworski) was talking about how Luck may not even declare for the draft (everyone at Stanford thinks he is, and if he isn’t someone needs to tell him about Case Keenum) and he mentioned that the Chiefs could end up taking him first. Are they trading up for him? Because they’re not getting the first pick.
10) Seattle Seahawks (2-3) – If you had told me in August that the Seahawks would have more wins than the Dolphins in Week 6, I would have laughed at you and called you a doo-doo face. Who is the doo-doo face now, Burnsy?
11) Philadelphia Eagles (2-4) – Early nominee for most hilarious sequence of events of the season: Mike Vick gets knocked out of the game for a play, so Vince “Dream Team” Young comes in and throws a pick, seemingly setting the Washington Redskins up for a crucial score. Then Rex Grossman threw his 4th pick of the game. Legends are born in October.
12) Dallas Cowboys (2-3) – After the Brandon Lloyd trade went down the next big rumor was that Cleveland was talking to the Cowboys about shipping them Peyton Hillis, which was interesting because I was just thinking they could use another beat up, underperforming RB.
13) New York Jets (3-3) – Remember when Mike Vick got out of prison and came back to the NFL and he was all like, “GRRRRRR TOUCHDOWNS!” and the NFL was all like, “You’re a hero, here’s a trophy!” and the Eagles were all like, “Piss off, Kevin Kolb”? Plaxico Burress is the exact opposite.
14) Cleveland Browns (2-3) – Trade or not, it looks like the Browns are moving ahead with Montario Hardesty, which is cool for people who like the names of Canadian cities but think they need more consonants.
15) Chicago Bears (3-3) – Jay Cutler finally told Mike Martz what most of us have wanted to for years.
I want more like this!
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