Yesterday, I brought you the sad news that the incredibly real marriage between Kim Kardashian and
the missing link Kris Humphries may be on the rocks. Today I regret to inform you that Humphries was spotted recently without his wedding ring, and Kardashian’s mom, Satan Kris Jenner, sent out a press release confirming that her daughter is just too busy for love.
Humphries is also being accused of getting phone numbers from random girls while he’s out partying, and I would like to meet these girls so I can explain to them that he’s a clumsy backup forward who somehow managed to average a double-double last season by playing garbage minutes for a crappy team. I mean, they could at least hit on Brandon Bass.
But I’m an optimist, friends, and I think this couple that made $17 million off their wedding and could probably double that by getting a divorce is just going through a bumpy phase and there’s a darn good reason why Humphries wasn’t wearing his ring. And if there’s not a darn good reason, I came up with a few excuses that he can use since he isn’t exactly a Rhodes Scholar.
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