Best: Be Sure To Order The Royal Rumble, This Sunday!
I thought for sure the only times WWE had locker rooms empty were:
1. The Royal Rumble go-home show
2. Upcoming Bragging Rights tag team match
3. Unexpected after-show birthday parties
4. Somebody died in real life
But none of that here. Huh. The tag match just turned into everybody getting into the ring to beat up Cena and Sheamus, which turned into the likable chums in the back (including R-Truth, a guy Cena spent like eight months beating up and CM Punk, because he and Cena are identical twins) speeding out to save them. This is especially funny given that whole “nobody in the back likes you” stuff Punk was pulling on Cena last year. Anyway, stuff happened and Cena disappeared to the back, because if a bunch of your co-workers get together to keep you from being assaulted the coolest thing to do would be COMPLETELY ABANDON THEM.
Hilarious Best: Big Show’s Punch, Now With Wacky Sound Effects
I wish gifs could have sound effects.
John Cena was unexpectedly knocked out by The Big Show, and while you might think “Big Show lost his job and only took it back because he was blackmailed into it so it’s weird that now he’s this big evil guy who wears suits and wants to hurt John Cena and even weirder that they turned it into a personal rivalry, sorta like they did when Ryder got attack-raped by Kane and shoved off a stage in a wheelchair and decided it was Cena’s fault” would be the talking point, nope, it was that f**king punch sound effect they played when Cena got punched. I love WWE for that. That is the hokiest sh*t ever.
It should’ve ended with Show making Cena sit near a production cart, then running up and kneeing his head into it. That’s the only way to win backstage brawls in WWE 12. Cross promote, n00bs.
Worst: No Way Out, The Pay-Per-View Where There Is No Way Out
I wish the slogan was “there’s No Way Out of buying it! We’ve already taken 50 dollars out of your bank account! Thanks for signing up for WWE Social that one time, muh huh huh ha ha ha”.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
Don’t be afraid to +1 some new people, guys, I can only give this to Tobogganing Bear so many times in a row.
Brandon will post the B/W when Khali gets to the ring.
Space Monkey Mafia
That Rascal runs on PEOPLE POWER.
Big Show absorbed that car’s powers when it hit him last year.
Reks and Hawkins strategy of kidnapping all the faces and locking them in a janitor’s closet could only be successful for so long.
Kelly Kelly appearing in Maxim is good and all, but I preferred Aksana’s thinkpiece on the cultural impact of food tariffs in The Paris Review.
“What the hell happened?” Couldn’t you see the photo montage from backstage?
I was hoping Punk would’ve put a chair between him and AJ like Hank Hill did.
Ricky The Steamboat
Hustle, Loyalty, Potatoes
THEY’RE REDEEMING THEIR POINTS
Otunga is the best lawyer because he accepts baby oil as payment.
See you next week.