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The Dugout: A Pussy Move

By / 06.21.12

Davey Johnson Joe Maddon The Dugout pussy move

Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon and Washington Nationals manager Davey Johnson have spent the last few days insulting each other over an incident involving pine tar on Joel Peralta’s gloves.

The Washington Post has a full rundown of choice quotes — including Maddon saying Johnson had made a “pussy move” (or “cowardly”, depending on who’s story you’re reading) and Johnson calling Maddon a “weird wuss” with a “Tweeter”. We can only hope this goes on until the end of the season, when the Rays meet the Nationals in the World Series and Fidel Castro is throwing out the first pitch.

Anyway, the “what” of this story is less important than the “why”, so for all your Why needs, today’s Dugout is after the jump.

[banner image via CSN Washington]

The Dugout

StillInTheNavy: Hey ump, looks like Joel Peralta’s got some pine tar on his glove. Mebbe you should check that out.  
Maddon12: pussy move, davey

pussy moooooove

 
StillInTheNavy: what  
Maddon12: only pussies would point that out. real men don’t care how much pine tar is on gloves. why don’t you go have a light beer and get your man-card revoked, pussy  
Maddon12: I bet you can’t even drink dr. pepper 10  
StillInTheNavy: I can so!!!! Read the rulebook!  
Maddon12: insider trading right there, man. It’s bush. It’s bogus.  
StillInTheNavy: shut up, you weird wuss! Go twirt about it on your Tweeter!  
Maddon12: Most men have Tweeters!  
StillInTheNavy: I use quill and dedicated hawk to send my messages, of course you could just hop onto Tweeter and tell all your little followers about how “neato” and “with it” you are for tryin’ t’sneak STICKY GLOVES past me!  
Maddon12: Ray Bolger follows me on Tweeter!  
StillInTheNavy: look, why don’t we settle this like men

I say what I want and get my way and then I sit down and read the paper

 
Maddon12: /hunt-and-pecks “PUSEY MOVE” onto Tweeter in all caps  
StillInTheNavy: Ump! Look! He’s usin’ his Intenda game machine to talk mess about me!  
Maddon12: pfft, you’re such a tattletale

you’re such a tattletale the boy who cried wolf’s mom warned him about being a DAVEY JOHNSON

 
StillInTheNavy: that is meanest thing anyone has ever said about me and you will take it back right now  
Maddon12: this is a free country!!  
 

** Online Host **
Meanwhile, in the Tampa Bay Rays Clubhouse chatroom

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: looooooool  
Genie: And for your second wish, master?  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: can i just wish to see ‘funniest old man fight ever in america’ again

wait no

DJINN MAKE ME ALL POWERFUL SOURCERER

 
Genie: I’m not Djinn, I’m a genie.  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ok for my secont wish i wish for a djinn who knows the differents between a genie an a goddamn djinn  
Genie: /glares  
Genie: look, I’ve got things to do, Bryce Harper’s wish about becoming Prince Ali Ababwa is about to lead to him learning a life lesson or whatever and I’ve got to be there for it  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: sry sry  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i hereby wish to see adam dunn strike out 570 times in one season

wait no

i want the pirates to win the nl central

wait no

 
Genie: ughhhh  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i wish we wored uniforms like we was in the 70’s in 2012 but we arent, but they look like it anyway, like we was playen in a time what didn’t exist  
Genie: so, ugly uniforms?  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: bingoed  
Genie: /grants wish

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: rolfffff

it looks like the braves f**ked the padres

 
Genie: yeah, well  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: aight, wish three  
 

** Online Host **
Back in the Tampa Bay Rays Vs. Washington Nationals Chatroom…

 
StillInTheNavy: what now, you gonna go on Friendbook and send a thumbs up to your Friendbook links about Old Man Johnson, s’at what’s happening now  
Maddon12: the f**k am I wearing  
Maddon12: no, I’m not on Friendbook, I’m pinning a bunch of pictures of vaginas to my wall to remind my online friends that I’m “into” games with Davey Johnson  
StillInTheNavy: you caint say that word in a chatroom!  
Maddon12: Which word, “Davey” or “Johnson”?  
StillInTheNavy: grrrr  
Maddon12: /grits teeth  
 

** Online Host **
Maddon12 and StillInTheNavy are now furiously making out.

 
Genie: you’re f**king weird, you know that?  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: now make them touch each others butts  
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com

TOPICS#MLB#Twitter
TAGSBaseballDAVEY JOHNSONJOE MADDONJOEL PERALTAKYLE FARNSWORTHPINE TARTAMPA BAY RAYSTHE DUGOUTWASHINGTON NATIONALS

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