If you can get past that whole “They’ll stab you if you look at them wrong” vibe that they carry so well, Oakland Raiders fans are a pretty fascinating bunch. For starters, they put up with so much, from years of inept ownership and horrible decision-making to, well, that pretty much says it all right there. But they’re a loyal crew, as they sit patiently through season-after-season of Darren McFadden injuries and porous defenses, while the Denver Broncos pile up wins around them. Hey, at least they aren’t Kansas City Chiefs fans, amiright guy with spikes all over his body?
Anyway, GQ recently sent reporter Lauren Bans to a Raiders game to embed herself in a crew of female Raiders fans that included women who refer to themselves as “Metal Cindy” and “Dre of the Dead”, among others. It’s a fantastic read, and I encourage you to check it out in between crying over poor gambling decisions today, but this is probably the most important excerpt…
Here’s a sampling of who Cindy and Dre have posed with so far this morning: three teenage girls openly smoking a pipe of weed; a pack of smallish Mexican men who speak no English; two lady police officers on bicycles; a pair of incongruously well-dressed European gentlemen; a big group of rowdy drunks; a phocomelic young man in a wheelchair; a bulldog with an eye patch; a middle-aged couple wearing Raiders jerseys and khakis who look like the parents from the movie Pleasantville; and two shy Latino teen boys, both built like vending machines, who trade Hey, fuck you’s in Vito Corleone voices.
That is basically how I already imagined the tailgate area at every Oakland Raiders game anyway, but it’s nice to have the verification.
But the real reason that I’ve brought your attention to this today is because that if you go to that GQ story and head to the second page, you’ll be introduced to this female Raiders fan:
In conclusion, I have just sold all of my belongings, am moving to Oakland and I will not rest until I have found this woman and subsequently get too scared to talk to her.
(Disclaimer: We do not encourage drug use, unless you want to buy peyote, in which case you can meet me behind the 7-11.)