Real Talk: I’ve been getting really tired of all of these stupid “online petitions” to the White House for Barack Obama to do this or that in regard to something incredibly meaningless, like forcing Jerry Jones to sell the Dallas Cowboys or “pardoning” the Ohio State Buckeyes for Jim Tressel’s cheating ways or saving dying kids in Kapoopystan. Well I’m sorry to be the jerk, people, but God intended for people to get sick and the Buckeyes to be punished. However, if an online petition would work in making it so that Caddyshack 2 never existed, then I’d allow for this lame trend to continue. Thanks, I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Speaking of ridiculous trick golf clubs – segue of the year? – Texas club pro Michael Furrh, whose name is so much fun to say out loud, recently broke the world record for the longest golf club. The standing record had been set by Karsten Maas in 2009 with a 13’5’’ driver, but Furrh topped that with 14-feet even. So why would he do that? Who the hell knows, but he was able to drive a ball 146 yards with his PVC pipe with a club head, and that makes me feel like absolute crap with my horrible slice and lack of focus.
I guess it’s impressive. However, I’d rather watch him play an entire 18 holes with an entire bag of 14-foot clubs. And he has to play on stilts while people throw those snapper things at his feet and bang on pots. That would be a fun way to watch golf, I think. Or maybe just topless girls. Either or.