I was going to have to scrape the bottom of the barrel eventually in this 73 Sports Movies in 73 Days feature eventually, so I figured why not today? And very few movies tend to exist in so many sports fans’ basements, beneath hate-soaked layers of shame that every moviegoer who spent $5 on this sweaty fart of an abomination, than the 1998 comedy Caddyshack 2, or as it is referred to in quite a few circles – the worst sequel ever made.
But the question is… is it? Is it really that bad? I mean, I’ve probably seen Caddyshack 2 enough times to count on both hands, but not because I actually like it. It’s just always been a movie that, when on TV, I’ve just left it there while wondering, “Wait, why was this made?” So I figured I’d give it another swing today and blah, blah, blah it’s horrible, folks. The whole thing is just horrible.
The Original Caddyshack
I’m gonna be honest real quick – I don’t think Caddyshack is as great as a lot of other people do. Sure, it’s funny and some of its moments are downright hilarious. Bill Murray was phenomenal, but that goes without saying. Rodney Dangerfield was Rodney Dangerfield and everyone else was basically just there, floating through a series of sketches, loosely tied together by the idea that Bushwood Country Club was filled with stuffy a-holes.
But I’m not saying I don’t like it. I’ll watch it almost any time that it’s on TV and I’ll still stupidly misquote the funniest lines when I’m out playing golf with my bros. I just don’t understand why a sequel was made. It’s really, really baffling.
The Plot of Caddyshack 2
The sequel obviously had very little to do with the original, other than it took place at Bushwood Country Club and Ty Webb was still there. In fact, this is basically the film that marked Chevy Chase’s descent from living comedy legend to… just, what the f*ck was this guy doing? After Caddyshack 2, Chase peeled off layer after layer of one of Hollywood’s stinkiest career onions, as he starred in forgettable turds like Nothing But Trouble, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Cops and Robbersons, Man of the House, etc. etc.
But forget all that. This was a retread for the sake of a quick money grab, and with only one of the original stars on board, director Allan Arkush, Chase and whoever else thought this was a good idea through the haze of the cocaine cloud scooped up some filler pieces and stitched together an awful, lazy idea about an eccentric hotshot developer trying to capture Bushwood from the 1% and return it to the people as a horrific monstrosity of a theme park.
Jackie Mason < Rodney Dangerfield
I mean, come on. Who thought that Rodney can even be partially replaced? How didn’t one person involved in making this stop and say, “Hey, I know that we’re trying to trick people into giving us a lot of money based on the popularity of the first film, but is this right?” And maybe someone did and that person was later buried in the Las Vegas desert. I don’t know. I just can’t believe someone thought that Jackie Mason could replace Rodney.
Who Should Have Been the Star? No one. It shouldn’t have been made.
Dan Aykroyd < Bill Murray
I’d love to go back in time and be a fly on the wall in a room during a creative meeting involving Chase and Aykroyd. And go ahead and toss in whoever said, “Murray won’t do this sequel and thinks it’s a horrible idea, but I just figured we could replace him with Aykroyd and nobody will care.” And then Satan poured everyone a glass of virgin blood.
Who Should Have Been the Crazy Guy? No one. It shouldn’t have been made.
Robert Stack < Ted Knight
Sorry, I love Robert Stack, but Ted Knight’s Judge Smails couldn’t be topped. You could have injected Daniel Day Lewis’ blood into Stack’s body and it wouldn’t matter. Knight created an elitist villain that is legendary and Stack was just a dick in an ascot. There’s not even a debate.
Who Should Have Been the Villain? No one. It shouldn’t have been made.
Kate Hartounian < Miffy Young < Lacey Underall
Come on. COME ON. You’re going to try to recapture the magic of a comedy cult classic and the best you can do to rival Cindy “No Bra EVER” Morgan as Lacey Underall is Chynna Phillips? Good lord, that was some lazy planning and casting.
Who Should Have Been the Leading Lady? No one. It shouldn’t have been made.
Randy Quaid = Randy Quaid
Peter Blunt was the only wild card. Quaid’s psychotic lawyer is the only character in this sequel that still makes me laugh. He’s the reason I make the “I didn’t go to one of these big, fancy law schools” jokes at least 20 times a year. I wish there was a way to go back and somehow add him into the original film. Well, I know we can, but we’d have to ask George Lucas for permission to use his magical editing machine, and I don’t have enough cats to feed him.
Final Grade: All of the wedgies.