Ladies, that suave strange-tamer above is none other than chess grandmaster Timur Gareev, who is currently ranked No. 3 in America but No. 1 in your loins. A quick Google search of Gareev will reveal several pictures of this world class strategist and diabolical chess genius blindfolded, and that’s because he apparently loves showing off just how good he is at chess to idiots like you and me. And last Friday, he took his boastful showmanship to an all new level with a visit to the Cook County Jail to put 10 inmates in their places.
In less than two hours, a blindfolded Gareev not only played chess against 10 inmates who weren’t blindfolded, but he also defeated them all. Your move, um, other guys who play chess really well.
Gareev played against 10 inmates on 10 different chess boards on Friday, with a black bandana covering his eyes. He visualized each game as moves were called out loud, letting him know each of his opponents move as they made them. Still, he couldn’t exactly keep track of every single piece on each board throughout each game.
“It’s kind of almost a visceral sense of the experience that you take in. If you’re trying to memorize every single game, all the moves, all the variations, it’s quite impossible,” Gareev said. “But the memory has all the little tricks that makes it easier to create patterns.” (Via CBS Chicago)
Patterns shmatterns, bro. This is a serious baller accomplishment on par with winning a long drive contest with a putter or this pug that pees while walking on its front paws:
There is no word, however, on how many chess pieces were missing after the games were completed, as I’m sure at least one bishop was sharpened into a shiv.
(Banner via Chess Club)