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The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling 2/6/14: I Can Put My Arm Back On, You Can’t

By / 02.07.14

Worst: BUH-BUH-BUH-BOOOOOOO

Rarely have I been known to say bad things about Austin Aries, or good things about Zema Ion, but did we really just waste a briefcase cash-in on this? Really? After all those nice things I said about you, TNA?

I was so nice to you.

Bonus Secret Confession Time: I am really good at making that airhorn noise and it is absolutely none of your business as to how I know/got that good at it.

Worst: How’d it get burned? HOW’D IT GET BURNED?

This dude has a creepy jerkoff room with a mannequin in your image with your actual hair and the strongest stance you can take is “you’re a nice guy but let’s keep things professional”?

Christy. Girlfriend. Listen. Listen, Christy. He has a creepy jerkoff room with a mannequin in your image with your actual hair get a restraining order what are you even doing

ilu dixie carter

Best: Dixie Carter

Again, not on YouTube, because god forbid anyone be given a reason to watch this show. Dixie meets with MVP for the first time to talk business, and in the process gets to say things like “See, I can speak your independent wrestling carny language too.”

Madame, you are a treasure.

Bonus Best to Rockstar Spud, King of the Background Theatrics. Would you like to watch him pour two glasses of champagne? You think it’s not a thing you need in your life, but you are the most wrong.

Best: EC3 – the C stands for Holy Jeepers Ethan Carter III

(no it doesn’t)

Despite my newfound appreciation for Magnus getting into the groove and proving his love to me or whatever, my embargo on Magnus’s wrestling still stands. That said, oh hey, sup EC3. What’s that? Dixie brushed you off so you went out and tore Kurt Angle’s limbs off because it made you real mad and everything you do has a purpose grander than your own immediate story?

Hee! Yeah you did!


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TOPICS#IMPACT WRESTLING#PRO WRESTLING
TAGSABYSSBEST AND WORST OF IMPACTBOBBY ROODECHRIS SABINCHRISTY HEMMEDIXIE CARTEREC3ERIC YOUNGETHAN CARTER IIIJOSEPH PARKKURT ANGLEMAGNUSMVPROCKSTAR SPUDSAMOA JOEsamuel shawthe best and worst of impactThe Best and Worst of TNA ImpactTNA IMPACTTNA PRO WRESTLINGVELVET SKY

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