Best: Seth Rollins Does Kofi Kingston Right
First off, here’s Batista interrupting his cool dude pose to make fat face at somebody in the audience…
…come on everybody, how can you hate this guy?
Seth Rollins was sent out on Smackdown to have a Kofi Kingston match. You know the Kofi Kingston match I’m talking about — the one where he faces someone above his station and just gets beat on forever before rallying and sometimes scoring a shocking surprise victory. When Kofi does a Kofi match they’re boring as shit.
Rollins actually managed to make the template semi-interesting. He always seemed to be fighting back in some way instead just flopping around like a rag doll, and when it was time for his rally his offense looked crisp and like something that might believably beat somebody. I also liked the finish a lot — Batista just sidestepped a dive, threw Rollins into the announce table and took a count-out victory. Much like the end of Ambrose/Sheamus, it wasn’t satisfying, but it wasn’t a cop-out DQ or cheating finish. Both Sheamus and Batista won in cowardly dickish ways, but they did it within the rules. More finishes like this and less distraction roll-ups, thanks.
Worst: John Cena vs. Even Odds
John Cena came face-to-face with his kryptonite on Smackdown — fair competition.
As has been frequently discussed around here, John Cena’s chances of prevailing in a match actually go up the higher the odds are stacked against him. Pit him against three giant men and a steel cage and he runs roughshod — it’s only when he has to face a single small child that the odds are enough in Cena’s favor that he might lose.
John Cena’s incessant odds overcoming has frequently led to annoying situations where he tears through an entire stable on his own, but then loses a fair tag match because of his stupid weak tag partners, which we’re supposed to buy as a crushing Cena defeat. This week Cena’s stupid weak tag partners were the tag-team champions and sure enough after Cena ran around for a few minutes effortlessly fisherman suplexing 300-pound hillbillies, the Usos tagged in, got beat like chumps and Cena made sad face. Then I made sad face. When I can’t even take pleasure in John Cena being beat, you’re doing something wrong.