Okay, so Spider-Man fighting Batman, Robin and The Riddler in a weird 3-on-1 MMA fight is fine on its own. That fight happening in the UK with British announcers calling it like it’s Wimbledon is even better. The video having a World Star Hip Hop embed makes it the best thing to happen all week, and this week included CHRISTMAS.
Anyway, here’s Spider-Man fighting Batman, Robin and The Riddler in a weird European 3-on-1 MMA fight. I don’t even know. I’m 99% sure these aren’t the real guys.
Comic-Book Analysis: So what happens if this fight goes down in comics instead of … uh, here?
The easiest answer is that whoever publishes the story’s character gets to win. The real answer there is that it would probably end in a schmozz either way, with some villain showing up and Spidey and Batman having to work together and blah blah blah. The publishers would probably leave it up to a fan vote anyway, which just becomes a popularity contest instead of an actual, written fight. We’re talking about the people who thought Wolverine could beat Lobo AT ALL, much less off-screen on one f*cking page.
ANYWAY, Batman wins this fight, right? Assuming that Robin and The Riddler mind their own business and this is just Bats and Spidey, Bats wins. It’s a promoted MMA fight, and if Batman has time to prepare, he can beat anybody. Sure, Spider-Man is much stronger and has tons of wrestling experience, but Batman punches out enormous crocodile dudes three times his size on the regular. Batman’s all about mixing the martial arts. If Spider-Man can’t leap away or use his webs, Batman should be able to dispatch him in round one. What do you think?
(This is easily the most anybody has or will ever write about these guys f*cking around in Halloween costumes and I apologize.)