Conan O’Brien wrapped up his week in Atlanta last night with a terrific bit that combined a number of things very near and dear to me: 1) Dunks; 2) Charles Barkley; 3) Mean jokes at Shaq’s expense; 4) References to Dick Vitale’s penis (don’t ask); and 5) Stupid shenanigans involving trampolines and silly costumes. Pretty much the perfect storm for me.
Specifically, the bit was called “Weird Dunking Mascots,” and it featured Barkley and Vitale critiquing a number of awful dunk attempts by the insane mascots the show created, (examples include Obese Colonel Sanders and Superman With His Cape Stuck In A Toilet) and tossing some pretty decent burns at each other in the process. Say what you will about Dick Vitale as an announcer, I give him a world of credit for going back to the old fat joke well more than once for his digs at Barkley. That’s dedication. And I give Barkley a world of credit for blowtorching Shaq, his Inside the NBA co-host, with that Superman line. Charles ain’t care, not even a little.
But mostly I’m posting this so I can give a public shoutout to Obese Colonel Sanders, who somehow got the ball to go in the basket despite jumping off a trampoline while wearing a big poofy fat suit and fake facial hair on national television. That alone makes him more qualified to earn starter minutes in the NBA than Spencer Hawes.