Do you love the New York Yankees? Are you super f*cking morbid? HERE’S THE PERFECT GIFT.
Grey Flannel Auctions is set to auction off a deathbed speech — you read that right, a deathbed speech — written and delivered by Yankees legend Mickey Mantle four weeks before his death in 1995. If that’s not creepy enough for you, it’s written on the back of a PGA tour score card, because I guess when a guy’s dying in the hospital and uses his final breaths to tell you how much he loves God and America he doesn’t have time to find a piece of paper.
“I didn’t know how Lou Gehrig could here at home plate knowing he was going to die and say he was the luckiest man on the face of Earth. Now I think I know.”
“Please don’t do drugs and alcohol. God only gave us one body. Take care of it.”
PUT IT ON YOUR COFFEE TABLE, SHOW IT TO YOUR KIDS.
I think I speak for everyone when I say “a man’s terrified final thoughts and regrets are a cool thing to hang up next to your autographed Steve Sax jersey and that cool Phillie Phanatic bobblehead, you should totally buy it.” And by everyone I mean nobody ever.