06.17.08 9 years ago 29 Comments

Raiders wide receiver Javon Walker (pictured here spraying the crowd at Tryst Body English on Saturday Sunday night) was found unconscious just off the strip in Las Vegas, where he was the victim of an apparent robbery early Monday morning. 

Police said Walker suffered an orbital fracture; They are unsure how the receiver sustained his injuries.

I'm not a detective, but I would wager that it was a large blunt object, such as a fist, a lead pipe, or my penis.  I would also wager that Javon no longer has that watch.

Fox 5 of Las Vegas reports that Walker was out at the Hard Rock until 6:30 a.m. on Monday morning, and that his first round of champagne cost $15,000.  If that seems like a lot, then perhaps there's some kernel of truth to the *unfounded rumor* on this message board: that Walker "got into a bidding war with Floyd Mayweather with champagne but floyd had 50 bottles of crystal and won. And later on [Mayweather's] entourage found javon on the street and beat his ass." (UPDATE: It's also rumored here.) I present that only as a rumor and nothing more, so please don't treat it as anything but that.  Another hot rumor: Gore Vidal is the next Deadspin editor.

[Kissing Suzy Kolber

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