JERRAMY STEVENS IS A CONSIDERATE NEIGHBOR

03.19.07 11 years ago 2 Comments

Funny that with all this NCAA tourney stuff going down, the first two stories today are about central characters from Super Bowl week over a year ago. First Joey Porter gets into a fight in Vegas, and now Jerramy Stevens, on the heels of last week's DUI/pot bust… he's not so popular. His neighbors have filed a formal complaint against him.

One resident woke to find his deck splattered with vomit. Another found used condoms. Others told of being awakened at 3 a.m. by loud fights, or were startled by strangers who partook of their patios. And they have had it. The noise, the fear and the man behind it — fifth-floor resident Jerramy Stevens…

He has parties that last all night. He has set off illegal fireworks from his deck, showering other units with debris. He takes up two spaces in a lot reserved for the building's retail shops. He gives the building security code to friends, who walk in at all hours.

As retaliation, his fellow residents have sent Stevens a strongly worded letter that requests his presence at a meeting — OR ELSE:

"If he does not show up, we will give him one more chance to respond," [board president Jay] Kasin said.

Sure, it sounds like weak-ass thing a bunch of rich white pussies would do to deal with a wild and intimidating football player, but on the other hand, it's more than the NFL has ever done.

(Not surprisingly, Kissing Suzy Kolber has some recommendations for anyone else living next door to an NFL player.) 

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