You’ve likely seen or heard about Kansas State’s halftime performance from the weekend, the so-called accidental dong heard ’round the world (not really, but okay). For those of you unfamiliar, take a close look at the photo above. That occurred during halftime of the Kansas State-Kansas game on Saturday and, according to the band director, that’s not what you think it is. He gave a detailed explanation about it on Facebook, saying it was more or less the Kansas Jayhawk and the Star Trek Enterprise in a fight.
“The chart below represents the drill from tonight’s show. There was absolutely no intent to display anything other than the Enterprise and the Jayhawk in battle. If I am guilty of anything it would be the inability to teach the drill in a manner that these young people could have succeeded. I do apologize for the misinterpretation and I assure you that I meant absolutely no disrespect or malice toward the University of Kansas.”
Needless to say, the administration didn’t buy this excuse (because they have a functional brain). President Kirk Schulz released a statement apologizing for the dong malfunction and lack of sportsmanship. He also levied a one-game suspension on the school’s band director.
“At Saturday’s home football opener Kansas State University fell short of its obligation to conduct itself in a consistent manner with the principles of sportsmanship,” said President Kirk Schulz. “Good sportsmanship is part of the Wildcat way; we do not want to do anything that takes away from the tremendous efforts of our student athletes and the award-winning Pride of Wildcat Land marching band.”
I’m all for a penis joke. Who isn’t, really? But this was never going to fly, not at a game with thousands of people in attendance, and certainly not when the Internet got a hold of pics.