We all know that hazing in sports can be a cruel thing at times, and actually, many professional organizations frown upon it. But a good bit of harmless ribbing is swell for the spirit, and it can promote loyalty, camaraderie, and masturbatory hijinks. Yes… you read that right. Ribbing can result in the ol’ how-you-doing — at least in the case of Ken Griffey Jr. and an 18-year-old Alex Rodriguez.
Perhaps I should explain.
Back in the day, when Griffey was one of the best sluggers in the league, a young upstart by the name of A-Rod joined the Seattle club, and, well, he was on the receiving end of a jerk-off prank. Here’s the explanation from Sports Illustrated‘s recent update on Griffey’s post-baseball life.
Griffey enlisted Seattle’s trainer, Rick Griffin, to convince Rodriguez that the club’s stars—including [Jay] Buhner and Randy Johnson—were involved in a scheme to sell their sperm to the highest bidder, as if they were thoroughbred stallions, and that Rodriguez might himself attract an appreciable stud fee. He brought in a fake doctor. “Dude, you got great genes,” Griffey told the rookie. The callow Rodriguez was skeptical at first. Then he started to come around. “How much money do you think we could make?” he asked. Griffey, mercifully, pulled the plug before donations were to be harvested. “Everybody has rookie hazing,” he says. “That was his.”
Kudos to Griffey for the hazing, but points are deducted for non-completion.